________________ changed my life

My uncle scoffs at marijuana legalization as he downs his third scotch rocks at Thanksgiving dinner.   I breathe out, no point in arguing with brainwashing, the media in the 60’s was damn good at brainwashing, they made propaganda into an art, flawless execution, gota hand it to them.  Still going strong.

As of this year, the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAA) estimates that alcohol causes 88,000 deaths every year in the U.S, which is more than the annual number of deaths caused by all other drugs combined in the U.S.

Alcohol is also the third leading cause of all deaths worldwide.

All other drugs combined cause approximately 30,000 deaths in the U.S. annually according to the NIAA.

“Go back to bed America, go back to bed America! Your government has everything under control.   Here’s some pituitary retards bashing each other heads in.  Here watch American Gladiators.   YOU ARE FREE, TO DO AS WE TELL YOU.  YOU ARE FREE, TO DO AS WE TELL YOU”  -Bill Hicks

Indeed, go back back to bed America. And keep telling me that mushrooms are a drug and that alcohol is not.

Tell me, goody two shoes girl who is on Prozac and looks at me weird for taking psychedelics…what is the difference between alcohol, Marijuana, Prozac, they are chemicals that you ingest? OK, ok, I’m polite and I respect power structures and what they tell us as truth or I risk being ostracized from the doped up and mindless herd. Fuck it, I’ll just move to Spain, fucken robots. AMERICA IS A TOXIC CULTURE, MONEY AND SELLING IS VALUED OVER HUMAN LIFE, we watch people die in the street while we go home and jerk off and eat cookies!! We are SICK.

Anti-depressant takers: you are in a DESIGNER state of consciousness, one of productivity, apathy, obedience to feed the hungry gluttonous elites. Remember that.  The FDA will push through the drug that they think can sell the most and make the “studies” fit their sales goals.  Being drunk is a designer state of consciousness, it keeps you apathetic, hazy, lazy, dulls the pain of being a consumerist robot.  Mushrooms teach you that all the shit you worry about on a daily basis doesn’t mean anything and no human being has the knowledge or authority to tell you who or what you are. Every soul is a pure form of God’s love.

Take morality out of the word drug!  You pretend like you have morality, have you ever been starving on the plains of Africa, needing to kill to eat?  No I haven’t and neither have you so don’t lecture me about morality and what I can put in my body.

Are activism, passion, truth fossils of lost age? When truth wasn’t susceptible to manipulation in service our Gods here in America, Excess, materialism, more sex, more sugar, more alcohol, more hallmark card television with any number of subliminal messages.  Now we have to see advertisements in the middle of movies.  Fuck this shit.

You are being programmed, media and culture in American society is a collective hallucination meant to put you in a trance where hunger for material and products predominates.

Truth is a tool to be manipulated for control and profit these days.

Shamans are Navy SEALs in the spirit world, willing to risk their lives to save others, tactical world class skills and conditioning, fearless and will kill dark spirits, when necessary, to protect their people. The Ayahuasquero/Shaman in the picture with me, this man heals souls and changes lives. Why doesn’t he get the adoration of the reality TV stars?  Because these spirit warrior shamans know that fame is fake, and understand that people that chase fame, are chasing after a mask, a costume.  Why aren’t Shamans in positions of political power? How different would our world be if political candidates were required to undergo intensive Ayahuasca ceremonies before having the PRIVILEGE of taking the office in the United States? They are there to serve us, not abuse power and maintain their overreaching power.  Crony-Capitalism predominates in this country, The CIA (George Bush Sr. was Director at that time) took out JFK, Cheney sat in a bunker and tracked the plane flying into the pentagon from hundreds of miles out.

His face in this picture says (Ugh, gringo. I gotta get back to communing with the forest and the plant spirits. The spirits have lessons for today they want to relay from higher realms about the fate of humans.  I have work to do like raising the consciousness of the planet and learning what the plants think about how to treat the earth better.) If I was him I’d probably much prefer communing with the Pachamama, the earth mother spirit, than boring humans.  We are such a parasitic people, creatures of society and obedience and sanitized, repetitive opinions, people chasing all the trophies of this backward society.  How ironic, we have the best creature comforts and technological advancements than at any time in human history yet we are morally, spiritually bankrupt and living basically an Epicurean lifestyle of hedonism, hedonism, hedonism, is God, praise my God of sex, praise other humans, who delude you into thinking they know what is best for you.

Camino de Santiago changed my life
Teaching in Spain changed my life.
Stopping drinking alcohol changed my life.
An intervention changed my life.
Getting fired from a job changed my life.
Ayahuasca changed my life
Mushrooms changed my life
Holotropic Breathwork changed my life.

Solitude changed my life.

Closing my eyes and saying “How’s it going soul? Let’s talk.” changed my life.

Learning silent intuition speaks volumes and communicates way more than words ever could, changed my life.  Your heart is ready to be an opera singer with the range to hit the lowest bass note and the highest soprano notes, and soul’s on the violin, if you would just shut up long enough to hear them.
Meditation changed my life.
Dating European girls changed my life, learned American girls love games and masks.

The programming/indoctrination of American culture is too strong.  I’ll seek a mate outside it then, fuck it.
Alan Watts changed my life.
Tao Lin changed my life.
Beatles changed my life.

Terence Mckenna changed my life.

Bill Hicks changed my life.

Realizing that any solid definition of “Peter” or a definition any living person is a figment of my imagination, changed my life.  It is like pointing at a river and trying to define 2 square feet of a flowing river.

There is no “Peter.”  I am a relative manifestation of the unified consciousness experiencing myself subjectively.  I AM everyone and everyone IS me.  That’s why it is so silly to take anything ever said or done to me, personally.

It is impossible to love anything outside of myself, just like it is impossible to fear anything outside of myself.  Revelation:  My greatest fear, has always been of myself the ghoulish face/shadow side/paralyzed by shame Peter that I locked out in a cell in my subconscious. This is why psychedelic experiences are scary, its just that we are constipated and repressing a side of ourselves that needs to be welcomed home.    We are incapable of experiencing anything that is not a product of our soul and filtered through the soul’s lens.  We relate to the world through the love and acceptance we give to the inner universe housed in your soul, and your universe is infinite. You are a universe, you contain multitudes, infinity, limits are an illusion.   When you say you love someone, you are saying, I love my soul and feel free to express my heart, when I am near or with you.

Consistent and continuous rejection is changing my life for the better.
Embracing my divine feminine is changing my life.
Learning to embrace introspection and silence in a culture of extraversion and noise changed my life.

Learning that 90% of emotions, feelings, thoughts are simply side effects of being a highly evolved ape over millions of years is changing my life. These thoughts aren’t mine!!!! Woo!

All the money in the world won’t make me, love me,

there is no dichotomy, there is no loving others and not loving me,

The love I give  to myself is the love I am capable of giving everyone and vice versa, because there is no separation, we are all one.

All the women, praise, all the connection and helping of others, fame,

Maya: the illusions of the material world are endless and will enslave and do enslave.

control over every living being wouldn’t do it either, power is just another way to alienate others and further contribute to my aloneness.

At the bottom of all the bottles and drug benders and 80 hour workweeks, and porn addiction, is the most difficult and impossible task it seems….and the most terrifying….. to say

you are OK, you deserve forgiveness, I honor you and I accept you, heart,

I love you soul, because we are in this together, nothing you will ever do will make me stop loving you.  I am fierce in my forgiveness of you, self, Peter, soul.  A mantra: fierce forgiveness of self and others. 

you don’t need to force immediate healing, you only need to begin a process of letting the pain go, it doesn’t serve you.  I lost sight of the fact that underneath the pile of shame and attachment that I have learned to cling on to from parents and society, is perfection.  The silence is anxiously awaiting me, it greets me when I sit down and shut my eyes and am silent.  Continually honing my focus onto my breath because it is my link to this consciousness and links me to the source field of light and dark consciousness.

It is distraction from what is the only true, consistent and real thing I have, which is this breath, and this one, and this one.  The bridge to life and through become acquainted with my soul, relaxed, sitting with it, and saying, I like you, I love you, you are and always were my soul mate, why did I get it so twisted, thinking the external world had anything fulfilling for me?

This breath changed my life, and this one, and this one, a new me breathes the next one and the one that breathed the last one is already dead.  We are in the flat circle: the               Now-ternity,  more like an amorphous blob of past, present, future, it’s not linear, it’s all here right now.   The person you love that died, that love is still blazing in the furnace that is your heart.  They live on in the love contained your heart.   Everything that has ever happened, is happening and will happen, is contained in this breath of air.


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